The Big 05!

So, upon turning five, Hallie was able to tuck a few more milestones in her bag.  She started kindergarten, learned how to snap her fingers, has chewed gum and is now tall enough to ride pretty much everything at an amusement park.  The most significant for her at this point was evidenced by the number of people she told.  After her last check up, her yellow card was full. She will happily tell anyone who asks, that all the spaces are full and she doesn't have to get any more shots.  She also had her first kid birthday party. Still seeking a career in science, Hallie chose to have a Mad Science party. Then, she reasoned, her friends could see how "science could be smart and cool for all the children" She was excited to invite her old preschool buds to the party as well as a few of her new kindergarten friends. Thanks to the generosity of our good friends, we were able to accommodate the mob that is our family + friends at a lovely home (with a yard to rival any park) and had a lovely afternoon.  The kids got to play on the equipment, swing, bounce on the trampoline, hula hoop and draw on a gigantic roll of paper.  The group was loaded up with pizza and salad and got ready to experiment.  When the science lady arrived, parents and kids alike gathered on the lawn for some slimy, bubbly, oozy fun.  To top it all off, after a grand finale dry ice extravaganza, the kids got to make their own slime to take home! 

After a quick clean-up, it was time to blow out those five candles on the buttercream frosted marble cake. Boy, do kids RUN at the mere suggestion of cake. Not being a big fan of cake, Mom has to gear up to feign excitement for the sugary portion of the party but, cameras ready, and cake knife in hand, she and Dad captured every second of the ritual.  The moment is priceless; the expression on a child who is being serenaded by the cacophony of the assembled guests and the adoring and perhaps, reflective,  gazes of grandparents cannot be duplicated.  Candles and cake are powerful.  This gloriously illuminated, iced and layered confection represents so much more than the waxy smoke, brightly colored tongues and sugary rush it produces.  For a child, it brings the focus of attention back to her and symbolizes hope in the form of a wish, and pride in the achievement of reaching the next age.  For the parent it symbolizes the forward march of time and the hope for an even brighter future, and pride in the accomplishments of one so small who has learned and become so much in such a short time. She is truly someone of whom we can be proud. She is loving and sensitive and is the most unselfish child. She didn't even think about her presents until one of her friends asked her when she would open them. Of course she didn't turn them away - she's not selfish but knows a chance for some new fun when she sees it. She thanked everyone and made sure they all had their favors when they left. She even offered for a classmate to take one home to his brother! MMMMMM. Our sweet girl.

So, Hallie got her wish, though she never actually asked for all the trappings. She told us she wished for a good party and a special birthday. She also thanked us, on her own, for making her the best birthday party ever and for being the best Mom and Dad and Sister she's ever had. Yea 5 !!!

"When you're a little older..."

At what point in our lives do we stop hearing that phrase? It always seemed that we were never old enough - well, to do the things we wanted, anyway. Somehow we were old enough for a lot of other things we never asked about. Why is that? Once we are old enough to reason, our lives are sprinkled with "You're old enough to_______________ (know better, do your own..., clean the...., etc) When we are finally able to actually reach out and grasp one of the elusive privileges it is met with no less enthusiasm than we would express on Christmas morning. Those events stand out in our minds as milestones - these rites of passage - a first sleep over, a treacherous journey to an off-limits location, or perilous first bike ride. They are the very essence of what it is to be an American child.

There are so many milestones when we are growing up, most significant and noteworthy it seems, within the first year. (It is only in recent years that a proliferation of adult 'baby books' has occurred) And perhaps we are without memory of those events, because a certain amount of growing pains accompany them. It also seems that ages have been assigned as, or coincide with, most of the other commonly accepted milestones one reaches in the average lifetime. Many are public and celebrated, others are private (hopefully not publicized) but we keep inching past them taking little notice of the days in between. Having passed (and survived) many of the prescribed events, it is with a bit of dejected realization that we note those did not all come without pain as well, whether physical or emotional - or at least a little anguish. For whatever reason, we keep striving to reach each milestone, taking little notice of the struggle, always hoping for the promise of bigger, if not better, to give our lives that "extra something".

The struggle may not be directly related to the age or event but, with eyes on the prize, we run the gauntlet and emerge, hopefully, unscathed. Is it an inherently hopeful nature that humans possess  or, is it simply the notion that the grass will always be greener? Teenagers see life beginning when, at 16, they can drive a car or at 18, can do whatever they want. (This obviously does not apply to those in this household who have passed teen age as neither drove at 16 and both wanted to be 18 so they could vote) After that, 21 and 25 afford a few more legal privileges and the continued perception that getting older is a good thing. (It should be noted here that we ALWAYS think getting older is a good thing - consider the alternative) Then somehow the ages turn into road markers by which we measure our accomplishments or lack thereof. 30 ahead - life in place. 40 - the beginning of the end, 50 - the new 30. Hopefully we do not all view those markers as being on a downhill slope.

Kids though.... they're happy right now. Sure, they may want to be older but have nothing particular assigned to that nebulous definition of 'older'. Hallie, near her 1832nd day of life and Anna near her 465th, have experienced many of those milestones, which, at this point, have been events celebrated primarily by the grown-ups. For all of us, milestones are developmental (physical or emotional) but for young children, they are rarely a personal or private experience. The physical changes are shared with, at the very least, the pediatrician and, depending on the discretion of family and friends, can become news to 10s of people. Those milestones have been granted no remembrance and have no ownership for the child. They must be for the benefit of the parents, giving them something to which they may cling while weeping over the next milestone crossed by their ever growing offspring.

Ah, but once age 3 or 4 comes around the seeking of elusive treasure begins. What evolves into a milestone to be reached is often a result of a mechanism for parents to bide their time. The desires expressed when asking "Mommy can I" and "Daddy can we" can be kept at bay by the response of "When you're older", "See, the sign says you have to be x years old","Maybe when you're five you can try it". Of course, you know what comes next. Eventually you have to make good because as many times as they can't remember to bring home a jacket or stop waking you up to ask if they can be awake, they always remember the date and time that you agreed they could have 'x' and try 'y' AND know when that assigned day has come. It's as though an internal alarm clock has rung to let them know "Today is the day Mommy said you could chew gum" or "Now Daddy will take me to...." How do they KNOW???

We are ruled by schedules, calendars and clocks. With the exception of nostalgic moments shared with friends and family, we are always looking ahead waiting to cross whatever marker we have set for ourselves - Wednesday, New Year's, 'When we win the lottery'. We adjust our clocks twice a year, because someone tells us to, knowing when to expect the change. So when do we change from outlook to reflection. When is it we change from "spring forward" to "fall back" Is it after 21? At 40? Does it depend on how many items we've ticked off our "Things to do before I'm 30, 40, 50"? At what point do we decide there's less to which we can look forward and more upon which to look back? Is it related to the balance of our own scales of time? I think it happens far before we tip the heavier scale. Perhaps we need to look to the Baby Boomers to use their powers for good (NOT just step up the quality of nursing homes so they'll be up to their standard of living) to establish some more positive milestones for us to reach and balance the scales a bit. Our scales - weighing in even.

The 12 Days of Halloween

OK, not 12, but enough. Halloween is no longer a single day event for us around here. Since Hallie was a year old, we have had at least two days of goody bags, candy and costumes. To accommodate the M/W/F and T/TH preschoolers, the Children's Center has two parties and costume parades so no one misses out. True, Hallie barely remembers last year (Mom and Dad are glad it's blogged) and she only had one day thanks to an ear infection and we were only sleeping at 4 hour clips this time last year. Still, it's sweet to look back at her pictures and video as we embark upon Anna's journey into the world of preschool - complete with two days of Halloween.

By sheer coincidence, we avoided a third day of Halloween as our Mickey's Halloween Treat tickets were for the same night as the school Family Fun Night. I think we were all OK with that - especially Dad since dressing up is not his thing. Imagine! Since Hallie was taking flight as Peter Pan this Hallows Eve', she decided Anna should match her when they went to the Halloween Treat. She allowed Anna to wear her Tinker Bell costume for the night. Basically it gave a new meaning to 'being an accessory'. The girls did look very cute and drew quite a few looks. They had more fun with the fact that they had a Grandma AND a Grandpa to entertain. Mom and Dad were fine taking a back seat to The Grands as they were led around by the pair from Never Land until those little feet just wouldn't work anymore - Grands or kids - you be the judge.

It really worked out well to have had that Friday night trick-or-treating event since Halloween fell mid-week. As any teacher will tell you, forget Halloween, its the day AFTER that should be made a legal holiday. Now, being one the parent side we advocate that even more. Even if you call it a night by 8 o'clock, bedtime doesn't come until about three hours later - for the parents, that is. Seems strange that we need more time to wind down now than when we were kids. I guess the difference is that, back then, we were the ones being chased rather than being the chasers. Luckily our girls are still young enough that we can handle it reasonably well.

We went again to the 'Trunk-or-Treat event at church which, as each year rolls around, is getting larger and better attended. We look forward to next year when Anna can actually have some candy, and most likely will be able to eat things that have ever possibly been in contact with a nut. She had a bag full of pretzels and goldfish crackers like nobody's business. She managed to make off with a few m&ms and we 'took care of' the rest for her. Between the two event and costume parade at school, she did quite well for herself. She was the hit of the preschool in her peacock costume and really seemed to enjoy herself. The best part about this costume was that we knew she would wear the head. Neither of us can recall knowing a baby that actually enjoys wearing hats but now, we know one for sure. Anna LOVES to put on hats (and please don't start sending them to us because if you read back to the posting in January '07, you'll recall that we have hats and more hats). She often comes out of her bedroom with Hallie's hats, tilted ever so slightly, on her head - and not for a laugh! So the peacock head... no problem. It went one and stayed on until it was time to unzip her and put her to bed.

Hallie had a grand time reconnecting with her preschool buddies - there was so much to catch up on after two whole months of being in Kindergarten, after all. They all tore around together, having a blast, until Hallie realized that rough bark on a bare stomach is not the most pleasant way to experience a tree. She recovered quickly, checked out Anna's collection of goodies and bid her friends a quick farewell. She had to leave with her Grandma, you see. As always we stopped by to see family so Auntie and Uncle and Great Auntie and Uncle got to see the girls and give them some special treats as well.

So we didn't get around to cooking the special 'creepy' food or decorating from within the fall tubs stored away. All in all, we had a fun holiday and, most importantly, got to see it through the eyes of the girls. We're glad it's about them and since this is what Mom and Dad have always aspired to... they think they're in a pretty good place.