"When you're a little older..."

At what point in our lives do we stop hearing that phrase? It always seemed that we were never old enough - well, to do the things we wanted, anyway. Somehow we were old enough for a lot of other things we never asked about. Why is that? Once we are old enough to reason, our lives are sprinkled with "You're old enough to_______________ (know better, do your own..., clean the...., etc) When we are finally able to actually reach out and grasp one of the elusive privileges it is met with no less enthusiasm than we would express on Christmas morning. Those events stand out in our minds as milestones - these rites of passage - a first sleep over, a treacherous journey to an off-limits location, or perilous first bike ride. They are the very essence of what it is to be an American child.

There are so many milestones when we are growing up, most significant and noteworthy it seems, within the first year. (It is only in recent years that a proliferation of adult 'baby books' has occurred) And perhaps we are without memory of those events, because a certain amount of growing pains accompany them. It also seems that ages have been assigned as, or coincide with, most of the other commonly accepted milestones one reaches in the average lifetime. Many are public and celebrated, others are private (hopefully not publicized) but we keep inching past them taking little notice of the days in between. Having passed (and survived) many of the prescribed events, it is with a bit of dejected realization that we note those did not all come without pain as well, whether physical or emotional - or at least a little anguish. For whatever reason, we keep striving to reach each milestone, taking little notice of the struggle, always hoping for the promise of bigger, if not better, to give our lives that "extra something".

The struggle may not be directly related to the age or event but, with eyes on the prize, we run the gauntlet and emerge, hopefully, unscathed. Is it an inherently hopeful nature that humans possess  or, is it simply the notion that the grass will always be greener? Teenagers see life beginning when, at 16, they can drive a car or at 18, can do whatever they want. (This obviously does not apply to those in this household who have passed teen age as neither drove at 16 and both wanted to be 18 so they could vote) After that, 21 and 25 afford a few more legal privileges and the continued perception that getting older is a good thing. (It should be noted here that we ALWAYS think getting older is a good thing - consider the alternative) Then somehow the ages turn into road markers by which we measure our accomplishments or lack thereof. 30 ahead - life in place. 40 - the beginning of the end, 50 - the new 30. Hopefully we do not all view those markers as being on a downhill slope.

Kids though.... they're happy right now. Sure, they may want to be older but have nothing particular assigned to that nebulous definition of 'older'. Hallie, near her 1832nd day of life and Anna near her 465th, have experienced many of those milestones, which, at this point, have been events celebrated primarily by the grown-ups. For all of us, milestones are developmental (physical or emotional) but for young children, they are rarely a personal or private experience. The physical changes are shared with, at the very least, the pediatrician and, depending on the discretion of family and friends, can become news to 10s of people. Those milestones have been granted no remembrance and have no ownership for the child. They must be for the benefit of the parents, giving them something to which they may cling while weeping over the next milestone crossed by their ever growing offspring.

Ah, but once age 3 or 4 comes around the seeking of elusive treasure begins. What evolves into a milestone to be reached is often a result of a mechanism for parents to bide their time. The desires expressed when asking "Mommy can I" and "Daddy can we" can be kept at bay by the response of "When you're older", "See, the sign says you have to be x years old","Maybe when you're five you can try it". Of course, you know what comes next. Eventually you have to make good because as many times as they can't remember to bring home a jacket or stop waking you up to ask if they can be awake, they always remember the date and time that you agreed they could have 'x' and try 'y' AND know when that assigned day has come. It's as though an internal alarm clock has rung to let them know "Today is the day Mommy said you could chew gum" or "Now Daddy will take me to...." How do they KNOW???

We are ruled by schedules, calendars and clocks. With the exception of nostalgic moments shared with friends and family, we are always looking ahead waiting to cross whatever marker we have set for ourselves - Wednesday, New Year's, 'When we win the lottery'. We adjust our clocks twice a year, because someone tells us to, knowing when to expect the change. So when do we change from outlook to reflection. When is it we change from "spring forward" to "fall back" Is it after 21? At 40? Does it depend on how many items we've ticked off our "Things to do before I'm 30, 40, 50"? At what point do we decide there's less to which we can look forward and more upon which to look back? Is it related to the balance of our own scales of time? I think it happens far before we tip the heavier scale. Perhaps we need to look to the Baby Boomers to use their powers for good (NOT just step up the quality of nursing homes so they'll be up to their standard of living) to establish some more positive milestones for us to reach and balance the scales a bit. Our scales - weighing in even.

The 12 Days of Halloween

OK, not 12, but enough. Halloween is no longer a single day event for us around here. Since Hallie was a year old, we have had at least two days of goody bags, candy and costumes. To accommodate the M/W/F and T/TH preschoolers, the Children's Center has two parties and costume parades so no one misses out. True, Hallie barely remembers last year (Mom and Dad are glad it's blogged) and she only had one day thanks to an ear infection and we were only sleeping at 4 hour clips this time last year. Still, it's sweet to look back at her pictures and video as we embark upon Anna's journey into the world of preschool - complete with two days of Halloween.

By sheer coincidence, we avoided a third day of Halloween as our Mickey's Halloween Treat tickets were for the same night as the school Family Fun Night. I think we were all OK with that - especially Dad since dressing up is not his thing. Imagine! Since Hallie was taking flight as Peter Pan this Hallows Eve', she decided Anna should match her when they went to the Halloween Treat. She allowed Anna to wear her Tinker Bell costume for the night. Basically it gave a new meaning to 'being an accessory'. The girls did look very cute and drew quite a few looks. They had more fun with the fact that they had a Grandma AND a Grandpa to entertain. Mom and Dad were fine taking a back seat to The Grands as they were led around by the pair from Never Land until those little feet just wouldn't work anymore - Grands or kids - you be the judge.

It really worked out well to have had that Friday night trick-or-treating event since Halloween fell mid-week. As any teacher will tell you, forget Halloween, its the day AFTER that should be made a legal holiday. Now, being one the parent side we advocate that even more. Even if you call it a night by 8 o'clock, bedtime doesn't come until about three hours later - for the parents, that is. Seems strange that we need more time to wind down now than when we were kids. I guess the difference is that, back then, we were the ones being chased rather than being the chasers. Luckily our girls are still young enough that we can handle it reasonably well.

We went again to the 'Trunk-or-Treat event at church which, as each year rolls around, is getting larger and better attended. We look forward to next year when Anna can actually have some candy, and most likely will be able to eat things that have ever possibly been in contact with a nut. She had a bag full of pretzels and goldfish crackers like nobody's business. She managed to make off with a few m&ms and we 'took care of' the rest for her. Between the two event and costume parade at school, she did quite well for herself. She was the hit of the preschool in her peacock costume and really seemed to enjoy herself. The best part about this costume was that we knew she would wear the head. Neither of us can recall knowing a baby that actually enjoys wearing hats but now, we know one for sure. Anna LOVES to put on hats (and please don't start sending them to us because if you read back to the posting in January '07, you'll recall that we have hats and more hats). She often comes out of her bedroom with Hallie's hats, tilted ever so slightly, on her head - and not for a laugh! So the peacock head... no problem. It went one and stayed on until it was time to unzip her and put her to bed.

Hallie had a grand time reconnecting with her preschool buddies - there was so much to catch up on after two whole months of being in Kindergarten, after all. They all tore around together, having a blast, until Hallie realized that rough bark on a bare stomach is not the most pleasant way to experience a tree. She recovered quickly, checked out Anna's collection of goodies and bid her friends a quick farewell. She had to leave with her Grandma, you see. As always we stopped by to see family so Auntie and Uncle and Great Auntie and Uncle got to see the girls and give them some special treats as well.

So we didn't get around to cooking the special 'creepy' food or decorating from within the fall tubs stored away. All in all, we had a fun holiday and, most importantly, got to see it through the eyes of the girls. We're glad it's about them and since this is what Mom and Dad have always aspired to... they think they're in a pretty good place.

Autumn Dreams

True, the weather still looks like summer and the leaves just don't seem to want to change (green IS nice after all) but autumn still comes to us here. If we're lucky, we might even catch it before we find ourselves in the middle of winter. In Southern California we are alerted to the coming/arrival of autumn by the baseball standings, back to school ads and the appearance of Halloween costumes in the stores. Hayrides might not be just outside our doors but with a little effort, we can do up fall right proper around here.As far as 'Back to School' goes, the girls may experience the feeling but we eat, sleep and breathe school all year round - especially when you throw summer school onto the mix (you do all realize that teachers don't get any more vacation than anyone else with a salary, right?) That aside, the other 'fall things' are as part of our routine as anyone's - we just may wear shorts and tank tops while doing them.

Though delayed a week, our fall began in September with apple picking at Los Rios Rancho in Oak Glen. For Grandma's birthday, we traveled the hour or so to the mountains north of Yucaipa to pick apples, buy cider and get into the spirit of the season. Hallie enjoyed the new experience this year of picking raspberries (to put in lemonade of course!) Anna didn't disappoint as she, like her sisters before her, sank her teeth into an apple right off the tree. After working up an appetite the party headed back down the mountain to Bob's Big Boy for some combos and malts.

Of course, to balance out the bushels of apples, you need to lug some pumpkins around. Since this year, our Oak Glen trip was too early to come home with a pumpkin for carving, we tried something new. An hour or so in the other direction (again, why we live here) we boarded the Fillmore and Western Railway Pumpkinliner. The historic, refurbished train chugged us through fields producing aromas only agriculture can boast to a pumpkin patch of sorts where we could select the gourd of our dreams. (oh, and run a maze, listen to music, eat bar-b-q and bounce to our heartsdelight-none of which we did, by the way, because there were a lot of people, flies and not enough pumpkins of 360 degree integrity). It was a fun experience nonetheless, and the train ride, complete with a well versed conductor to punch our tickets, was well worth the trip.



Finally what better way to kick of the fall than that very special trip to Disneyland (yes, we pretty much kick off everything by going to Disneyland) to enjoy the return of Halloweentime and the Nightmare Before Christmas Haunted Mansion Holiday overlay. Hallie went on for the first time by choice - not by being a captive (infant) audience and loved it! We focused on the Halloween Jack and ignored the Christmas and Sandy Claws. Regardless of what the malls say - October is too early for Christmas (it should be noted that Mom and the girls say this for Dad's benefit since they could have Christmas anytime) It only took a few minutes to get Anna to stop saying 'Santa, Santa' after we left the ride.

So, in the spirit of THIS season, we will make the pies from our harvest, enjoy the cider, partake in the revelry of Halloween and anticipate the feast that is the culmination of the harvest fall events when Thanksgiving rolls around. And, just about the time the weather decides to give it up for fall, it'll be time to unpack those green and red tubs and get shopping. At least by then we might be finished with all these apples!

12 Month Portraits

Back to School

So the time finally came for Dad to go back to work (after his BIG three weeks off) Mom to REALLY go back to work, Anna to go to school full time and Hallie to start kindergarten. Big adjustments all the way around! Luckily, Dad was already in the swing, Mom was ready for a paycheck after 12 months, Anna had settled in very well to her few hours a week at daycare and, by July, Hallie was telling people she was going to kindergarten.
Other than Mom and Dad's anxiety about starting kindergarten, the first day went off without a hitch. A benefit of being the daughter and granddaughter of teachers is that Hallie is completely comfortable around a school - especially her new school since it's work for Mom and she's been brought there since about 4 months old.  Colleagues greeted us with smiles combined with expressions of disbelief  as we arrived on campus.  Hallie grinned and responded to each person though she had no idea who they all were.  Mom explained to her that it was going to take time for her to learn their names since there were so many of them and they've seen her since she was a baby.  She practiced the new principal's name all summer (she's known her by her first name since she could talk and now she has to be formal)

We had made this trip to the school many times before but it didn't hit us until about half way down the hall that we weren't just there to work in Mom's room or drop off one of the many boxes of stuff that gets carted back and forth. This was a whole new chapter in Hallie's book as well as ours.  Her experience was a little different than ours was, having gone to preschool for four years first - a bit to UN learn there - but she was excited and more than ready for the challenge ahead.  She knew where to find her room since we had practiced the route a few days earlier and when we arrived, she marched right in.  She found her name tag (which was not a popular accessory) and after a few pictures and a look around the room, we kissed her goodbye and wished her well with all our love. 

In this instance, a nice thing about teaching is that one rarely gets a chance to sit all day, let alone think of anything but lessons and duties.  So, Mom and Dad's minds were kept busy and they didn't have time to fret over the 4 yr old they just sent into a world of 5 yr olds. Though a verdict has yet to be reached whether it is a plus or a minus to be sharing a school site, it was nice for Mom to be able to get a quick hug and kiss in the cafeteria after dropping off her class for lunch!  Hallie had fun, loved her teachers and enjoyed the chance to play on the big playground. There were a lot of new friends to meet, projects to make and rules to learn. 

It will be interesting to see how the kindergarten Hallie grows and learns and adapts to her new expectations. According to her, it was hard to sit and listen all day and not get to play but it was 'good'. So after a rough day of hearing rules; classroom, cafeteria, daycare, she had no challenge at all deciding on a place for a dinner celebration. Red Robin, of course!