Dining Out

It is an interesting experience - eating out with babies and, for that matter, more than one child. We of course don't eat anywhere but chains anyway so it's not a challenge to find a child friendly restaurant. A note of comfort....... If you go to a chain place with crayons, even though people still give you the "I hope you don't sit next to me on this flight stare", chances are you're not the worst in the place. As a matter of fact, I realize a certain amount of relief when I turn to see whose obnoxious child just disrupted the entire section 'cause that means it's not ours. It seems as though we were just freed from bearing the burden of 'the backpack' and it's out again for one more run. It is loaded with a complete set of objects that make it easier for us to be out and about with someone who can't yet order from a menu and doesn't know that public tables and chairs are not meant to be shown the same affection as the furniture at home. Of course, that is, until we have to leave and follow our trail by picking up all of the items of convenience. Hooray for Take&Toss. With Hallie being so 'portable', it's hard to switch back to the involvement and planning Anna's presence requires. Though the family oriented places are great about having plenty of seating near the kitchen and bathrooms for those with babies, they have a way to go.

First, let's address the food choices on that happy little menu with activities too hard for any child to be self entertained. Yes, children typically are not drawn to items with goat cheese, rosemary or shitake mushrooms (neither am I, for that matter) but it is a must that they like one of the following items if they are to be fed while in a restaurant. There are typically six choices presented with a variety of side dishes and clever names: chicken fingers/strips/nuggets. pizza, mac 'n' cheese, hot/corn dogs, spaghetti, and grilled cheese. If you take the time to break the transparent code - anything that covers the actual food or dresses it with cheese is considered kid friendly. Amusingly, with frequent restaurant experiences due to squeezing in visits with family. Hallie knows what she can get at each local chain place as well as whether or not they have the flavor of juice she fancies at the time. Luckily, it is in our favor that Hallie chooses to order milk and knows that if she wants fries, she has to have something NOT fried as her main meal. She also likes to munch on our salads for more than just the croutons. Good for her. Kudos to Olive Garden for having grilled chicken and broccoli as a choice - which, I can proudly say, Hallie chooses on her own.

Second, is the actual process of getting the food to the table and in the child easily. I suppose that the poor 17 yr old servers have been on the receiving end of some pretty rude behavior, children involved or not, but do they really think that an infant needs a kids menu? Even if they could eat the food, can they read the menu? If you were to give it to a being who requires being strapped into a chair so as not to fall to the earth, he/she would end up eating the crayons and ordering would be unnecessary. Now, once the food has been ordered for the toddler (Hallie now knows to wait for the food to cool) it is up to the parents to ensure that the child is not scalded by the high voltage, heat lamp warmed food. Here's a tip if you are a server, when you see us coming..... know this. We tip BIG if we don't have to blow on, stir, douse with ice or otherwise cool a plate of food. See, the child is usually starving as well as impulsive so they - big surprise - will reach for the food when it is set DIRECTLY in front of them, WITHIN their reach. Did I say we tip BIG? If we are met with a blank stare when we ask for the food to be taken out early (and must specify out in the KITCHEN, not to our TABLE) we know we will have an interesting time of it. On those golden evenings, when a server nods and says "would you like me to cool it in the refrigerator for a few minutes?" we go to the ATM to get more for the tip.

Third, is the issue of actually getting to eat. It is quite the balancing act to feed from a jar, break off/mash pieces of prepared food and attempting to keep the things in the mouth and on the table. All this is happening while trying to keep a screeching infant/toddler relatively quiet. Between that and taking turns walking the baby and taking your other children to the bathroom, when do you eat?




So much is available to us these days and it has all been created in an effort to make children more mobile and a parent's experience more pleasant. Oh yeah, and to make a few dollars. As with everything, if things are too specific and involved, they are more trouble than they are worth. Luckily, we have not been taken in by too many of these objects of modern convenience. They weren't around much with our first and now that, by our third, babies are as big a market as weddings, we know what we will actually use and for how long it will serve a purpose. One thing is still missing though. When I noticed how often I was reaching across myself to wipe a child, spoon a mouthful or catch a falling cup, I was reminded of a scene in "The Music Man" where Prof. Harold Hill charges the town hooligan with inventing a music holder for a marching piccolo player. If there was a sandwich holder then it would be presented to you for a luscious hot bite each time you took a swipe at the child.

Kid friendliest by far, no surprise, is Disneyland. Not only have they changed their menus to smaller portions and fruit and vegetables instead of fries but they have a little kid bathroom/nursing rooms and sell diapers, formula and baby food in the park. We totally missed it the first time around but between Hallie and Anna we are attempting to take full advantage. Sure, it's not free but it's nice to be able to spend a buck each for a diaper or jar of baby food that you don't have to carry around all day. Now, if we could just get restaurants to provide high chairs that are actually for eating and carry a line of baby food. Instead of the menu that also serves as a 'Fun Page', one could be printed on a disposable bib. And, instead of a bundle of crayons, how about a bundle made up of a sipper cup and spoon - tucked right inside the menu bib? Write your congressman (or local Denny's)

By the way, if you haven't been there with her yet......Hallie's number 1 choice, all around..... Red Robin